We miss you, Mom..................
On September, 10, Jada and I packed our car to go home what turned out to be the last trip we would ever make to see Mom.
I was planning to make this just a 2 day trip to go see Mom and talk with her about having surgery. And then returning a week later for her to have surgery on September 20th. But, after being with Mom for a day, it became obvious in my heart and mind, that surgery was no longer the right thing to do. On September 12th, my brothers and I made the decision to allow no more medical treatments. It was time to be strong and to allow Mom to be comfortable and to die with grace and peace. From that time on, I stayed with Mom at her bedside continously. Both Jada and I spent our nights in her room as well. Jada slept on what used to be her Grandpa's bed and I slept in my mother's recliner. Certainly, Jada did not understand what was happening, but she went with the flow and was such a good little girl as we stayed with Mom. While it was a very difficult and sad time, it would be a period of time that I will never forget. We read and sing to Mom and played with our dolls and color right at her bedside. We had frequent, wonderful supporting visits from both my brothers, John and Stan, and my sister-in-law, Dee Dee and my sweet niece, Sara. Many times, Jada would go with them so I could have some quiet time with Mom. So, it was also a time for Jada to get to know her family back home. The nursing staff at the care center was also very loving and supporting to all of us during that time as well.
After about a week, on September 18th, my Mother passed away with Jada and I at her bedside. With soft music in the background, Jada and I were talking and singing to her during her last few minutes and holding her hand. Even though it was the saddest moment of my life, it was indeed a sweet and peaceful ending to my Mother's life. I will never forget it. Jada was my strength and while I had never vision her to be there at that final moment, it was obvious that she meant to be there sitting in my lap between Mom and me. My sister-in-law, Dee Dee, had her taken her that morning and had just brought her back to me around 3:00. My mother died at 3:40. My brothers could not get there in time so it was just the 3 of us girls. I was not with my father when he passed in 2005 but my brothers were at his bedside. I think it is truly amazing how the timing and events like this happen. I really think Mom was able to hear in her final moments what a wonderful mother she had been to me and my brothers and how much we loved her. She finally looked so at peace.
Naturally, I miss Mom and even our trips back to the nursing home very much. Her passing has made me miss my father as well. I have grieved this loss. The staff, residents and their own families have become like an extended family to me as my parents had lived there for 4 years. They all shared in my joy as I was going through the adoption process and waiting for Jada. After Jada came home from China in November of 2004, they welcome her with so much excitement and love. Going home to see my parents at the nursing home was like going to Grandma's house with many fun friends to see and to play with. With Jada, they always had something special to talk about with Mom and Dad. Many of them even said they were sad because after Mom's passing, they knew they may no longer get to see Jada and see how much she would grow between visits. Jada has already served a special purpose in her short life by filling my parents' room with life, fun and love.
I know this entry is very long but it was very nice to write this so that Jada and I can read this together. She probably won't remember them but we have many memories to tell and pictures. Jada no longer has any living grandparents but I want her to know that they got to meet her and know her and loved her very, very much. What a wonderful blessing!
I was planning to make this just a 2 day trip to go see Mom and talk with her about having surgery. And then returning a week later for her to have surgery on September 20th. But, after being with Mom for a day, it became obvious in my heart and mind, that surgery was no longer the right thing to do. On September 12th, my brothers and I made the decision to allow no more medical treatments. It was time to be strong and to allow Mom to be comfortable and to die with grace and peace. From that time on, I stayed with Mom at her bedside continously. Both Jada and I spent our nights in her room as well. Jada slept on what used to be her Grandpa's bed and I slept in my mother's recliner. Certainly, Jada did not understand what was happening, but she went with the flow and was such a good little girl as we stayed with Mom. While it was a very difficult and sad time, it would be a period of time that I will never forget. We read and sing to Mom and played with our dolls and color right at her bedside. We had frequent, wonderful supporting visits from both my brothers, John and Stan, and my sister-in-law, Dee Dee and my sweet niece, Sara. Many times, Jada would go with them so I could have some quiet time with Mom. So, it was also a time for Jada to get to know her family back home. The nursing staff at the care center was also very loving and supporting to all of us during that time as well.
After about a week, on September 18th, my Mother passed away with Jada and I at her bedside. With soft music in the background, Jada and I were talking and singing to her during her last few minutes and holding her hand. Even though it was the saddest moment of my life, it was indeed a sweet and peaceful ending to my Mother's life. I will never forget it. Jada was my strength and while I had never vision her to be there at that final moment, it was obvious that she meant to be there sitting in my lap between Mom and me. My sister-in-law, Dee Dee, had her taken her that morning and had just brought her back to me around 3:00. My mother died at 3:40. My brothers could not get there in time so it was just the 3 of us girls. I was not with my father when he passed in 2005 but my brothers were at his bedside. I think it is truly amazing how the timing and events like this happen. I really think Mom was able to hear in her final moments what a wonderful mother she had been to me and my brothers and how much we loved her. She finally looked so at peace.
Naturally, I miss Mom and even our trips back to the nursing home very much. Her passing has made me miss my father as well. I have grieved this loss. The staff, residents and their own families have become like an extended family to me as my parents had lived there for 4 years. They all shared in my joy as I was going through the adoption process and waiting for Jada. After Jada came home from China in November of 2004, they welcome her with so much excitement and love. Going home to see my parents at the nursing home was like going to Grandma's house with many fun friends to see and to play with. With Jada, they always had something special to talk about with Mom and Dad. Many of them even said they were sad because after Mom's passing, they knew they may no longer get to see Jada and see how much she would grow between visits. Jada has already served a special purpose in her short life by filling my parents' room with life, fun and love.
I know this entry is very long but it was very nice to write this so that Jada and I can read this together. She probably won't remember them but we have many memories to tell and pictures. Jada no longer has any living grandparents but I want her to know that they got to meet her and know her and loved her very, very much. What a wonderful blessing!
posted by Jane @ 5:22 AM
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